


The Long Walk Home

by bookish49



Category: Rurouni Kenshin
Genre: Canon Compliant, Drama, F/M, Post-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 21:38:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21435109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookish49/pseuds/bookish49
Summary: Post-Jinchu canon. Kenshin and Kaoru have carefully made steps forward since their return from the battle with Enishi. But a visitor comes to the Kamiya dojo looking for Kaoru, putting Kenshin's future in danger. COMPLETED, CHAPTER 6 & EPILOGUE NOW UP (12-14-19)
Relationships: Himura Kenshin/Kamiya Kaoru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 72





	1. Chapter 1: The Long Walk Home

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.

The long summer day had been dry, causing brown dust to kick up onto her tabi as she walked down the sweltering dirt road. The sun was just dipping below the horizon as she made her way through the paths of Tokyo back to the dojo. Lost her thoughts as she threaded through the city’s tight streets, she hadn’t heard the thrumming strings of the evening cicadas begin. 

Kaoru had been with Tae at the Akebeko for the last few hours, gossiping in the back office. Well, not so much gossiping since Kaoru didn’t have much to offer to the conversation, she mused to herself making the last turn before the dojo. Tae had prattled on about so-and-so marrying this boy or that boy she’s vaguely remembered from childhood, and Kaoru had tried not to think about her own diminishing situation. Tucking a wind-tangled piece of black hair behind her ear, she paused outside the wooden gates of the dojo.

No, she hadn’t had anything to offer to Tae’s chatter about the romance around town. Tae had listed off the names of girls Kaoru knew were a few years younger than her who already had children on the way. She’s sunk into herself a little deeper at that thought. Being single at 20 wasn’t looking promising, and she knew in her heart it wasn’t likely to change any time soon.

It wasn’t as if she hadn’t had prospects. She came from a well-known family headed by a respected father and owned her own property, which was more than many other women in the city could say. She wasn’t unattractive, if not a little muscled for a girl because of her kenjutsu practice. Certainly a boy’s family or two had looked at the blue-eyed orphan girl all alone with land to her name and thought a match could be made. A few months after the mourning of her father around age 16, neighboring mothers had knocked on the dojo’s gate, sons in tow, to make an introduction. But those impromptu visits at stopped rather abruptly. Kaoru knew exactly why. Even if she hadn’t already known, the occasional passing whisper on her way to kenjutsu instruction at the nearby dojos would have told her. She’s taken in two boarders, one which was of marrying age but who had been deem quite unusual, and was often seen with another tall, bedraggled street fighter who frequented her home. Kaoru cringed as she pulled on the gate’s iron handle, still warm in her fist from the day’s sunlight, and swung the door open perhaps a little too aggressively. Yes, Kenshin and Sano’s presence in her dojo had stopped the pestering mothers dead in their tracks. At best, she was an oddity, a peculiar young woman not worth the effort of dealing with the men who accompanied her. At worst, and what she heard most often, was that she was a floosy, now deemed unmarriageable and sullied. 

She knew Sano, Kenshin, her pseudo-son Yahiko, and perhaps even the vixen Megumi had heard these whisperings too. One day Sano had strolled into the dojo with an elbow in a sling looking for his typical quick meal. Kaoru had bugged him to no end asking how he’s received it, poking and prodding him. In the dining room, she stood over him, pulling back the bowl of rice she’d been about to offer him, when he finally stood up with all his impressive height and bellowed, “Some idiots were talking shit and I got it defending you Kaoru, okay?!” Sano’s cheeks reddened in his embarrassment at the brief outburst an his eyes wouldn’t meet hers. “Now gimme me my rice!” She’d reached her arm out again handing him the bowl, staring tight-jawed down at the tatami. He’s promptly plopped back down and scarfed down the rice with one hand, and they’d never mentioned it again.

And then there was Kenshin. Kenshin. Her boarder, her friend, her…. 

Not her anything.

Kaoru leaned against the closed gate, the wood panels digging into her back. She sighed, her breath fluttering her black bangs as she looked over her empty dojo yard contemplatively. She knew Kenshin had hear the whispers too. Especially because they were mostly about him. After Jin’e had kidnapped her and the police had shown up to collect the body, people on the street could hardly contain themselves to a muffle whenever the two walked to the market together. And then the rurouni had left her, and then returned again, and even the oldest grandmother hadn’t been able to hold back a pointed finger as Kaoru passed. With Kenshin’s keen hearing, perhaps he had heard even more than she had. His long, unusual red hair made him so distinguishable that everyone in Tokyo knew who the young single man living with the young female kendo instructor was. She shivered in the warm night, imagining the things poor Kenshin had heard about her reputation at his supposed hands. He was too polite to ever say anything to her, thankfully, but her cheeks flushed at the thought of what Kenshin may have heard… about her, about him. Perhaps the rumors embarrassed him, the thought that he would be with a sweaty, manish swordswoman who couldn’t cook. Just as she pushed off the gate door, she heard a deep, hearty male laugh. That was not Sano sharp laughter and was certainly not Kenshin’s soft melodical chuckle. Picking up her pace as much as she could in her floral light yellow kimono, Kaoru crossed the flagstone path, rounding the corner to the dining room that glowed in the soft summer twilight. The shoji was pulled back, and Kaoru eyes flicked right to Kenshin’s face, seated with a tea cup in his hands at the low table they used for family meals. Yahiko sat next to him facing the engawa, his giddy face pointed toward another seated at her table whose face was just blocked by the frame of the screen door. She turned and sucked in a deep breath as she faced the source of the laughter.

“Hey busu, you won’t believe what Hiroyuki-san just told us about you.”


	2. Chapter 2: Welcome Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor arrives at the Kamiya Dojo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.

He’d been in the bathhouse cleaning up after Yahiko’s morning practice. The boy really was a terror sometimes, leaving the bathhouse in complete disarray. Kenshin knew Kaoru would probably want a bath that evening. She had gone to out to visit Tae after her morning training sessions with the tossle-haired Yahiko, and Kenshin had noticed that every time she came back from her visits lately, she seemed more and more deflated. A bath would do her well, he thought, and give her time alone to relax that she clearly needed. He’d pondering enough recently about what had been disappointing Kaoru after her visits with her friends. Her deep, captivating blue eyes were dulled a bit when she came home, her proud shoulders slightly hunched over in some unknown defeat. Was it money? Was she tired of sharing a home with two boarders? Were they burdening her, relying on her to supply the food on the table and to keep the dojo roof over their heads? She’d made no indications of wanting to confide in him, though he wished she would if it would bring that joyous smile back to her face. He was just picking up a damp towel Yahiko had dumped on the bathhouse’s wooden floor when a powerful knock came from the dojo gate outside, tearing him from is already racing thoughts.

Kenshin quickly collected the towel, dropping it into the awaiting laundry basin as he crossed the dojo yard. The day had been particularly hot, and he was sweating at the neck collar of his gi as he sped up when another, louder knock came. The day was too warm for causal visitors to be dropping by, most of the city was hiding indoors fanning themselves. A prickle came to the back of his neck despite the heat.

He pulled at the gate’s lock and cracked open the door. It wouldn’t do to swing the door open for an unannounced stranger. Especially after Enishi. Kenshin forced himself to stop his thoughts there. There was too much darkness in those memories for a sunny day like today. In the slight doorway, his eyes hit the chest of a fairly tall man in a stiff-collared black police uniform. As his eyes moved upward, he took in the man’s face. He was about 24 or 25, with warm brown eyes crinkled at the corners by emerging laugh lines and a mouth at looked quick to smile.

“Konnichiwa officer. Is there something this one can assist you with?” Kenshin said, summoning up his rurouni voice that always placated authority figures with ease.

“Oh, my apologies,” the officer stumbled, obviously not expecting to see him at the gate. “I see this is still the Kamiya Dojo, does Kamiya Kaoru reside here?” the man said as his hand drifted to the “KAMIYA DOJO” name plate on the side of the gate.

Kenshin stood up a little straighter, the concern from earlier creeping its way down to his stomach. Why would a police officer be looking for Kaoru? His mind jumped from thought to thought, assessing the stranger for any kind of threat or anger in the man’s ki. But he felt nothing but curiosity, if not a little excitement, from the man.

“This one is sorry, but Kaoru-dono isn’t home right now,” Kenshin offered, not wanting to tell the officer where to find her, just in case. He highly doubted she’d actually gotten herself into trouble with the law, but it was better to play it safe until he found out the officer’s motives. Perhaps the officer was really looking for Sanosuke and thought Kaoru might help him in tracking down the ruffian. Yes, that was more likely than an officer being here for Kaoru. “Is there anything you’d like this one to tell her when she returns?”

The man’s eyes flicked up and down Kenshin’s frame through the cracked gate, his eyebrow twitching up as his mouth tucked knowingly to the side in a quick assessment. The officer was a swordsman, or had been, Kenshin guessed from the way the man’s eyes had caught on Kenshin’s calloused hands and strong forearms. This man was no amateur.

“Ah, well if she’s out, I’ll just wait for her here. I was hoping to catch her while I was in town, I’m an old friend.” The officer quickly ducked his head as he politely, but firmly, elbowed the door open farther and stepped through into the dojo yard.

Kaoru does have a number of acquaintances who randomly liked to drop by the dojo, Megumi, Sano and Dr. Gensei to name a few, Kenshin thought in an effort to control his annoyance at the man’s forwardness. He had even thought Ayame and Suzume were Kaoru’s younger sisters the first time he’d met the pair when Dr. Gensei had dropped them off at the dojo without notice. The officer clearly knew that if the name plate was still on the gate, it meant that Kaoru hadn’t moved. “Please, come in,” Kenshin offered. He allowed the officer through as the man’s eyes scanned the yard as if looking for something. “She is usually back at sunset. Perhaps some tea while you wait?” He strengthened his rurouni smile as he acquiesced to the man. Better to play dumb than get Kaoru into any further trouble, he thought.

To Kenshin’s surprise and growing annoyance, the man turned his back to Kenshin and started crossing the path toward the dining room as he called, “Sounds perfect, thank you” over his shoulder, eyes indeed crinkling with his upturned lips. How did he know where he was going? Had he been here before? Kenshin tried to recall back into his memory but already knew he would have remembered if a young man had visited Kaoru before. As the man turned the corner to the dining room, Kenshin’s blank rurouni smile dropped as he tried to reassess. So the officer had clearly been to the dojo before and knew Kaoru would still live here since the name was still on the gate. Suddenly, his nervousness over the man heightened as his gut sank. He had guessed the officer to be just a few years older than Kaoru. The man had a cheerful face with short brown hair. His muscled frame suggested that he wasn’t just a desk officer, but Kenshin hadn’t seen him with Kaoru before. An old friend, he’d said. Well, Kenshin would have remembered if Kaoru had any young male friends hanging around. Particularly ones with such easy going smiles.

Kenshin followed the officer by a few yards, watching in horrid fascination as the man stepped out of his western-style boots onto the porch and slide open the dining room shoji with practice. The officer seated himself at the dining table, in Kenshin’s usual spot no less, as Kenshin followed behind, removing his own straw zori. Kenshin rounded over to the kitchen, reaching for the teapot absentmindedly from muscle memory. “This one is Himura Kenshin de gorazu,” Kenshin said, pivoting to bow to the man, not wanting to turn his back to him.

The officer hinged forward at the waist in return, bowing as low as the table would allow. “Ah, apologies again, I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Akiya Hiroyuki” the officer said, straightening in his seat. 

Kenshin turned and continued speaking as he began to light the low burner for hot water. “What brings you to Kaoru-dono’s home, Officer Akiya?” The man’s mouth quirked to the side again in a knowing half-smile as Kenshin added -dono to Kaoru’s name. Okay, this was getting annoying. How in the world could added respect to Kaoru’s name provoke such entertainment for him? “I’m an old student of Koshijiro-sensei’s. I’ve been meaning to stop by, but I don’t come to Tokyo often,” Akiya offered as he settled further into his cushion. The man looked downright comfortable sitting at the table, as if he did it every day. A twinge of jealousy flashed through Kenshin but he tried to suppress the urge to growl at the man for being so familiar in Kaoru’s home. Kenshin’s body stiffened further. Maybe if he was polite enough, Akiya would go away and try again another time. An awkward silence filled the air as Kenshin poured the boiling water in to the pot and added the green tea.

As Kenshin walked to the table balancing a tray with the teapot and two cups, he sensed Yahiko bounding down the wooden porch. “Heeeey Kenshin, you got anything to eat? The old hag is out and I’m hungry!”

Yahiko rounded the corner at speed, skidding to halt as he noticed the stranger seated at the table. “Sorry, Kenshin, I didn’t know you had a friend over,” Yahiko said, his brow furrowing in confusion. Well, Kenshin never had friends over, so this would be rather confusing.  
“Well hi there, you look like you’re one of Kaoru’s students,” Akiya said warmly dipping a bit at the waist. “I’m an old student of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu as well, Akiya Hiroyuki.”

Yahiko’s eyes grew wide as he stared slack-jawed at the stranger, still standing on the porch where he’d halted. Well, finally some answers! Of course, a student of Kaoru’s father would explain his knowledge of his way around the dojo and would also explain his swordmanship skills. A little knot Kenshin hadn’t noticed he was holding released in his gut. 

A small smile played on his face as he looked back up at Yahiko. Kenshin realized this must be exciting for the boy to meet another former student of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. Since Yahiko had started nearly 2 years ago, he was still one of the only and highest ranked students the small Kamiya dojo had.

“No way!” Yahiko hollered as he nearly leapt on top of Akiya. “Ah man, this is great. I’ve been stuck with the busu training me. Are you here to teach?” Akiya tilted his head up to look at Yahiko who was jumping from foot to foot with excitement next to him.

“Mou mou, I’m just in town to visit and thought I’d check on Kaoru-kun,” Akiya chuckled, flapping his wrist up and down to try to ease Yahiko’s excitement. Kenshin’s eyes narrowed as he knelt, placing the tray on the low table and begun setting out the cups. How was Kaoru already -kun to this boy? He wasn’t exactly great friends with Kaoru, Kenshin had been living at the Kamiya dojo for nearly two years and had never heard his name, surely Kaoru couldn’t know this boy that well. 

But he’s not a boy, is he? And Kaoru’s not a girl anymore. The thought flitted around his mind and Kenshin ducked his head again as he poured the tea, his bangs covering his eyes with long-skilled practice. 

When they had first begun living together, Kenshin had been acutely aware of Kaoru’s feelings. Young and bright as she was, it was hard for her to keep her emotions of her face. Megumi, Yahiko, and even Sano had teased her for it, and Kenshin knew in the back of his mind that perhaps him staying with her was inappropriate, but he’d written it off as a young girl’s crush. She had been a teen, giggling and blushing, and he told himself over and over that it would fade, either because he’d eventually let her in too closely and she’s turn away from him horrified, or that another would come along and her feelings would shift with the wind, as he had found would happen from time to time during his 10 years wandering and staying in various towns. Girls would become enamored with the red headed stranger, but then quickly forget him as soon as he continued down the road.  
Akiya continued smiling cheerfully at Yahiko, “And you really shouldn’t speak of your sensei that way. You know they call her the rose of martial arts?” Yahiko sniggered at the comment. “As if anyone could really call a sweaty busu a rose.” Yahiko crossed the room behind Keshin and sat down onto an empty cushion, looking up at Akiya with a reverence Kenshin had seen only a few times before. If he recalled, many of those had been directed at himself. Akiya had barely done anything but drop by and already Yahiko’s attention was wrapped.

“She hasn’t always been that way, you know,” Akiya commented, picked up his cup and gestering a thanks toward Kenshin as he took a polite sip. Akiya rested back, Kenshin saw the practiced posture of a man settling in for a story. “When I first started at the Kamiya dojo, Kaoru-kun was just a little thing, running around the dojo swinging a bokken at just about anything that moved.” Akiya laughed softly to himself as if remembering something, and Kenshin found his eyes darken as he realized just how well Akiya may have known Kaoru. Akiya’s story continued, but Kenshin was too lost in his in his own thoughts for Akiya’s words to take root. These were not the stories of a man visiting an old acquaintance. Akiya was here for something, and Kenshin found he didn’t want to know what is was.

Nearly an hour later, Akiya had launched into another story that involved Kaoru challenging a much older male student to a duel, outwitted and outmatched, and Yahiko had about laughed himself hoarse. The sun had just slipped behind the city skyline, spreading an ominous glow from the dining room on the engawa. Kenshin had been half paying attention both from the desire to seeking out Akiya’s motives and entranced in his own thoughts at what Kaoru’s reaction would be seeing the newcomer in her home. From Akiya’s numerous, and often intimate childhood stories, the student had been well acquainted with not just Kaoru but with the whole Kamiya family.

Just then, Kenshin picked up on Kaoru as she opened the front gate and let it swing shut. “Then, Koshijiro-sensei spend two weeks teaching us how to assess an opponent, just so Kaoru wouldn’t get her butt kicked again.” He chuckled to himself, “Her face was permanently red every lesson with Hideo after that.”

“Ha!” Yahiko crowed as Kenshin focused his attention on the progressively quickening sound of tabi on dirt. She rounded the corner, coming into sight. Kami, she was always a sight. Her eyes large eyes were an ocean blue, they always had a sparkle to them after a tough lesson. She wasn’t wearing her training gi and hakama, which he always preferred. It showed her passion for swordsmanship and also did better at showing off her neat figure than the layers of the kimono she currently donned, particularly as she flowed through her kata, the pants swishing around her ankles and the gi twisting tight around her with her movements. Kenshin noticed Akiya’s attention had turned toward him, not Kaoru, as she came into view. He quickly ducked his head again, trying to shadow his eyes. Damn, he’d been staring to long. Probably too longingly, and this perfect stranger had caught him.

Watching Kaoru’s eyes from beneath his bangs, they flitted first toward his face, then Yahiko’s, quickly finding the source of the howling laughter. “Hey busu, you won’t believe what Hiroyuki-san just told us about you!”

Her upturned mouth turned into a frown, about ready to tell off the boy in another one of their squabbles, when her eyes finally caught on the officer. Blinking slowly like an owl, her eyes widened as she took in the tall man and a giddy grin spread across her face. Kicking off her sandals, she bounded up the steps and dove into Akiya’s already awaiting arms. Akiya rocked back as he accepted her full embrace, wrapping his arms around her. Kenshin couldn’t see the officer’s face over Kaoru’s own buried in his neck, but heard the man offer gently, “I’m home, Kaoru-kun.”


	3. Chapter 3: Too Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru confronts her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.

_“I’m home, Kaoru-kun.”_

Kenshin stomach plummeted. Where he’d felt tight and strung out before, his limbs turned wobbly as he took in the sight. Home. This had been another man’s home too. Maybe even, she had been him home, as she’d become Kenshin’s.

Kaoru pulled back, and he could see the bright sheen of tears down her face and the soft giggles emitting from her. She looked up and down, studying Akiya as he equally assessed her.

“Still practicing I see. I came and there wasn’t a student around for miles, I thought for sure you’d given up the dojo and run off into the woods or something,” Akiya admonished teasingly as the two parted.

“Not just yet, though I see you’ve already met our Yahiko-chan here,” Kaoru said brightly wiping away errand tears. Yahiko stuck out his tongue at the dig. She settled herself on the empty cushion, right in between Akiya and Kenshin, still beaming at Akiya.

“Hiroyuki-san, I’m so happy to see you. But what brings you to Tokyo? I’m sorry I wasn’t here to greet you, if I had known…” she trailed off, her brow slowly furrowing as the realization of his surprise visit brought. 

Kenshin’s diminished hope raise at the politeness. Perhaps he and Kaoru were more strangers now than Akiya had led him to believe. His brain quickly flashed back to the tight embrace Akiya had given her, remembering that Kenshin himself had only ever been able to hold her twice in such ways before. One time to say farewell, and one time as hello after his battle with Enishi. He had held her then, just to make sure she wouldn’t turn to rain and slip through his arms. He hadn’t quite been in the mind to remember that embrace fully. But he remembered the feel of her small body pressed against his, her arms wrapped lovingly around him, and the ever-constant smell of jasmine entwined in her sleek black hair, before his memories faded to blackness.

“Well I was in town to pick up a few things and thought I might stay for a little visit,” Akiya said, snapping Kenshin back to reality. “It’s been awhile, and I was hoping to see you,” he replied. “Your…,” his voice dragged out, as if searching for an appropriate word, “companion was nice enough to let me stay until you got home.” The officer’s blinked his eyes over to Kenshin furtively.

“Oh my goodness. Yes, well, I see you’ve been introduced. This is Himura Kenshin,” Kauro offered, a delicate pale wrist offered in Kenshin’s direction and then Yahiko’s. “And this is Yahiko, a student of the Kamiya dojo.”

“So I’ve heard,” Akiya teased. “Glad to see the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu is still exciting the youth!”

“Ah, yes, well, the dojo is still small,” Kaoru admitted quietly, tucking her hands into her lap and looking down embarrassingly as her thumbs twiddled. While the school had gained a few new students since some rumors around town had spread of Yahiko’s use of the Kamiya style against the “Canon-arm,” he was still one of the few.

An awkward pause filled the room and Kenshin could sense Kauro’s embarrassment at the admission of her school’s low attendance.

“So, Kaoru-dono, Akiya-dono says he was a student here?” Kenshin offered, putting on his best rurouni smile for her. He knew his politeness often charmed people into admitting more than they should, and hoped asking would allow him to understand Kaoru and this man’s relationship better. Morbidly, he was most interested in Kaoru’s explanation of her relation to the officer. Kaoru’s head turned to him, her lovely sapphire eyes closing briefly as she smiled at him, grateful for the topic change.

“Yes, Hiroyuki was the top student of the Kamiya Kasshin under my father. He was actually suppose to take over the dojo when my father would decide to step down.” Kaoru didn’t look shaken by the statement, but it hit Kenshin like a blow to the gut. This boy, this man, was to be the master of the Kamiya Kasshin Ryu? Kenshin’s mind turned and twisted rapidly. Had he come back to claim his place as master? Kenshin knew Kaoru was only assistant master, but surely she’d been teaching by herself long enough to be considered the school’s only sensei.

Yahiko’s mind had clearly followed the same path and he began wiggling in his seat with excitement. “But why is the old lady teaching then? I thought it was ‘cause only Kamiya’s could teach the style.”

“Well,” Akiya started, scratching the back of his head as he grinned sheepishly. In that moment, Kenshin thought he looked rather like Sano coming to ask for a free meal. “When the time came, I would have been a Kamiya. Kaoru-kun was my betrothed.”

And just like that, Kenshin thought he was going to be sick. Nauseous roiled into him. So, this was why Akiya had come. He’s come to claim what he thought was his. Kenshin thought how he’d lost Kaoru once, he’d thought her supposed death to be the worst thing he could have endured. He’d sat weeks unmoving, unfeeling, lost in a pit so deep he didn’t have the energy to claw his way out of. But now he realized, having Kaoru right in front of him, but with another man, may be just as crippling. Seeing her holding another man, having another man’s hands on her slim waist, tangling his hands in her dark hair, her parted pink lip pouting in pleasure. Kenshin bowed his head and sat his hands under his shins. They were shaking underneath him and he knew Kaoru would notice. He was utterly frozen with shock. 

He quietly inhaled in an attempt controlling his breathing as Akiya continued, talking now only for Yahiko’s benefit as Kenshin’s thoughts plummeted.

“When it became clear I was Koshijiro-sensei’s top student, our families met to arrange the marriage. Kaoru-kun and I were both still kids at the time. That way, I’d be able to take over Kamiya Kasshin Ryu and Kaoru would be able to stay on as assistant master and help teach. When they told us, Kaoru wailed. She was an absolute brat about it. I’ll never forget, she hauled me up and yelled,” Akiya did a mocking high-pitched voice, “’I’ll never marry someone as weak as you! I’m going to marry the best swordsman in Japan!’” He laughed heartily at the memory. The small insight soothed some rough piece in Kenshin’s stomach. Kaoru had rejected the proposal then, would she still feel that way now? He’d gained enough control in his body and peeked up at Kaoru through his bangs. Her face was pointed down in her lap too, and a rosy blush had spread across the bridge of her delicate nose onto her cheeks.

“Ugh, gross, you were going to have to marry her?” Yahiko asked the man as if it would have been a punishment.

“Yep, that was the plan.” Akiya offered quietly now, facing Kaoru with a dark sadness in his eyes. “Until the war.” Kaoru’s blush faded as she continued looking down on her hands, now soberly. Kenshin knew he was staring, but he was trying to search her face for any hint. Was this what her heart had wanted? Had she remained at the dojo, as assistant master, awaiting her betrothed to return?

No, Kenshin thought, the knot in his stomach unfurling slightly. No, Kaoru couldn’t truly have been pining away after Akiya all this time. After she had returned to him from Enishi’s Jinchuu, he knew their dynamic had shifted. He had never been learned to flirt. With Tomoe, he’d had no opportunity for it. There had been no courting and barely even speaking before, just brief introductions and then a quick hand-fasting ceremony that declared them husband and wife. He had never courted a woman, so he wasn’t sure the proper way. But since Kaoru had returned, they’d been alone together more often. She’d find him at night, sitting on the edge of the engawa and join him in comfortable silence staring out at the stars, eventually leaning her head on his shoulder and he’d tuck his arm around her waist. More than once he’d carried her to her room after she’d fallen asleep next to him. They’d walk together to the market, and he’d catch the sleeve of her kimono. He’d be doing chores, and her hand would stray to brush a lock of his hair down his back. He’d cherished every brave, if fleeting, step forward they’d slowly taken together. Surely that had been something to her. With renewed hope, Kenshin raised his head. Kaoru’s head was still bent as she spoke. “Hiroyuki-san joined my father in the Seinan War. They left together, but only Hiroyuki-san returned.”

“It was my duty and honor to fight along side your father,” Akiya said, raising Kaoru’s chin with the edge of his index finger briefly. Primal male rage flashed briefly under Kenshin’s skin at the touch. Mine! his mind roared. He stomped it down instantly. Kaoru’s eyes were wide with grief, but no tears fell as she stared at the wall behind Akiya blankly.

Akiya turned toward Kenshin now, as if he knew he was facing another swordsman of war. “I was a hot head. I was young, and thought the best way to prove my worth was to follow my sensei into battle. I had no true understanding of the meaning of Kamiya Kasshin Ryu. I lost many good friends to that war, and saw too much bloodshed, and soon learned the true way of the sword that protects.”

Kaoru continued staring at the wall while Akiya spoke.

“After the war, there were many of us who didn’t know what to do. Those still lost in sorrow for their brothers, fathers. I had learned the way of the sword that protects, but I had sullied my hand in the process. I didn’t think I could return home. I was tainted with it. How could my family, the woman I loved, accept me after taking another’s life?” Akiya’s eyes now faced the table, as if seeing a ghost of himself too.

Kenshin realized that this is was the true story, Akiya’s real purpose for this visit. Akiya was here to offer something to Kaoru. She had heard this story before, no surprise shown in her somber face. This was the tale that they had shared at some time, before Yahiko or Sanosuke or Megumi. Before him. Kaoru and Akiya had held this grief in the passing of her father together. Kenshin didn’t know whether it made him jealous that Akiya had shared something so deep with Kaoru, or made him thankful that she hadn’t been in it alone. He knew Kaoru’s greatest, innermost fear was being left alone. He’d seen in it during that first embrace, as he told her he was leaving for Kyoto.

Kaoru’s head snapped up at this. A strong heat bristled in her eyes, now silver-lined as unshed tears clung to her long bottom lashes. Her hands fisted in her lap. “I’ve told you a million times Hiroyuki, the past doesn’t matter. You upheld your duty and you’ve learned the meaning of the Kamiya style. You are as much a student of my father as I am.”

And Kenshin heart sank further. The woman Akiya loved. Kaoru, who would had sworn above all else to protect human life. Here was another man, stained with the blood of others, seeking the love of the bright, warm, fiery woman beside him. The irony wasn’t lost on Kenshin. “Yes, I know that now, Kaoru,” he looked up to face her, brow eyebrows lifting toward a gentle smile. “It took awhile though, ne?” He turned to Kenshin, as if this explanation was directly for him. “After the war, I wondered for a bit, drifting from here to there. When I finally made my way back to Tokyo, I brought the news of my sensei and his salary-endowment to Kaoru-kun. I was too lost to return to my family’s home, so I stayed with Kaoru at the dojo for awhile.”

Kenshin now found he couldn’t pull his eyes away from Kaoru. She had lived here, alone, with Akiya. At 16. Alone with a man who was meant to be her betrothed.

“I stayed with Kaoru for a few weeks while we remained in mourning for Koshijiro-sensei, as was proper. We trained day in, day out until little Kaoru-kun was nearly as good as me. And during that time with Kaoru, back at the dojo,” Akiya let out a breath, “I began to heal. War can wreak havoc on the soul, but after some time here, remembering the words of the Kamiya Kasshin, being with Kaoru, helped to fill in the bits.” Akiya faced Kaoru again and Kaoru shyly stretched her hand from her lap and placed it gently on Akiya’s hand splayed on the table. Kenshin knew well what time at the Kamiya dojo could do for a lost man. Akiya had spent time here in the same way Kenshin had, allowing Kaoru’s joy and energy to refill his own. Finding peace in the quiet afternoons and enjoying laughter surrounded by her make-shift family. His jealousy was a palpable thing, slowly writhing inside him.

“I had healed being here, found myself perhaps worthy of love again after renewing my vows to the sword that protects. But I knew I couldn’t continue on as master of the dojo. So finally, when Kaoru reached becoming assistant master, I knew it was my time to go.” And yet here he is, back again, perhaps as drawn to Kaoru’s light as Kenshin was.

“So, Kaoru,” Akiya said, pivoting his body to face her as she stared into his eyes. Their bond was strong, Kenshin could feel it between them. “I have come to offer you a gift in return, for healing me.” 

He began to reach into his officer’s uniform pocket, and terror seized Kenshin’s heart like a physical thing. It was cold and cruel, as he watched in slow motion as Akiya pulled out a piece of folded paper from his pocket.

This was it.

This was how he lost Kaoru. He’d been too slow, too unsure. After Kyoto, he knew that if he left again, she would follow. Saying goodbye to her the first time had crumbled his heart to pieces. But she had come for him. 

No one in his life had ever come back for him. But she did.

And when she’d found him, he had found the strength, the will, he’d never had before. Her, a life with her, had given him the will to stay alive through his battles. He knew she cared for him, but he’d dismissed it as a silly crush until she’d shown up in Kyoto, leaving her home behind. For him. But then he’d told himself, she’ll come to her senses one day and see what living with a monster would cause her. That he would only bring trouble to her door by staying with her. Then Enishi had come and taken everything Kenshin was with him. His light had left, vanished with the harsh swing of a sword. It had taken him holding her on the beach, trying to convince his blurring mind that she was real and solid, to understand that he couldn’t leave her. She’d held him, and the world had felt right and kind for the first time.

But he’d been too slow. And now Akiya was here, claiming the right he thought was his from Kaoru’s infancy.

“It isn’t much,” Akiya said as Kaoru began to unfold the note. “But I owe you my heart.”


	4. Chapter 4: We Only Go Backwards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenshin realizes he must claim his future or risk having everything taken from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.

Chapter 4: We Only Go Backwards

_"It isn't much," Akiya said as Kaoru began to unfold the note. "But I owe you my heart."_

Kaoru's eyes widened as she took in Akiya's note. A small gasp slipped out as her lips parted. And then she threw herself over the corner of the table to embrace Akiya again. She began to weep softly, and Kenshin's mind became unable to function. Thoughts floated out and he saw the small glimmer of hope he'd finally allowed himself begin to disappear.

Finally, they separated, and Kaoru was beaming, her eyes aglow and deep sapphire as she settled back onto her cushion. "And the name?"

"Oro?" he sputtered, without even realizing it had slipped from him. Name? Kenshin's chin visibly pulled back as he caught himself. He knew Yahiko's eyes continued to pass rapidly between his face and Kaoru's, as much confusion in the boy's face as Kenshin had almost let slip on his through his practiced rurouni mask.

Akiya breathed out, "Genjiro. For my father. And the next will be Koshijiro," he said, his eyes twinkling down at Kaoru.

"Next?!" She blurted, raising the back of her thighs off of her heels in exclamation.

"I'm afraid so," Akiya chuckled, the slight pink of his cheek making his face look younger. "There's not much do to in the mountains."

"Ew!" Kaoru slapped Akiya's upper arm goodnaturedly. "I didn't need to know that. Well I'm glad Tsuta can put up with you. May I?" Kaoru offered up the slip of paper, noticing both Kenshin's and Yahiko's raised eyebrows and barely veiled curiosity.

"Oh, my apologies, certainly." Akiya bowed slightly at the waist, almost as if he had been so lost speaking with Kaoru that he had forgotten his audience completely. Kaoru passed the stiff paper to Yahiko before he could snatch it out of her hands. Yahiko peered at it closely, and then almost disappointedly handed the paper to Kenshin, bored by its contents.

Kenshin examined the note, his heart stilling as he prepared himself for the impact. But it was not a note at all. No declaration of undying love. No contract stating Akiya was here to reclaim the marriage proposal.

Instead, Kenshin was holding a black and white still image. A photograph. In it, Akiya stood proudly in a patterned gi. Nearly at his chest stood a petite woman with classic domed hairstyle in a floral kimono, her face warm with the small smile she was holding back. In her arms was a plump child, its face nearly indistinguishable in the blurriness of the photograph.

His heart pounded through his chest. And then again. And again. Kenshin let out the breath he didn't know he's been holding, trying to stomp down his emotions has best he could under the scrutiny of all three of the people around him. A genuine smile broke out on his face as he passed the photograph back to Akiya across the wooden table. The room suddenly felt much brighter, the welcomed breeze light in the summer evening. Had he been sweating?

"You must be very proud," Kenshin offered as his heart beat widely through his chest. "He will be a goodlooking son, that he will."

"Thank you, Himura-san," Akiya inclined his head in a bow again as he refolded the photograph along its well-loved creases and returned it to his uniform pocket. "It seems I am also here to offer my congratulations on your nuptials as well, little Kaoru-kun."

"For what?!" Yahiko said, finally eager to join the now significantly lighten conversation again. Kaoru looked about ready to smack the youth on his head for being so loud.

Akiya's eyes slid between Kenshin and Kaoru. "Tsuta and I are a bit isolated up in the mountains of Takayama, but we got word from an old family friend that a notable redheaded swordsman was living at the Kamiya dojo." Akiya blinked and his brows knitted together as if confused he was having to restate what should have been clear. His eyes slid to Kenshin's sakabato, still resting beside Kenshin on the tatami in constant readiness. "I presumed Kaoru had finally found her swordsman."

The room was quiet for a second, the question dangling in the air between them. Then Yahiko tipped back his head and cackled malevolently. Kaoru's mouth dangled open and then, as if remembering herself, she quickly pressed her lips together, sucking the lower lip between her teeth as a soft sakura pink blush spread across her cheeks.

Three summers ago, her face would have been vibrant red. She would have giggled and stumbled her away through explaining that Kenshin was a temporary boarder. She would have cast furtive glances at him all night and been unable to make eye contact with him for the next few days.

But she had grown. He'd seen it and been aware of it, but maybe he'd never fully appreciated it as a man until now. While a pink still tinged her cheeks, she smiled a halfhearted smile at Akiya, almost wistfully. She readjusted her seat as she explained that Kenshin, like Yahiko, simply lived with her. She grouped them together, as if Kenshin was just another member of her household, nothing more.

Maybe even without Akiya's arrival, he had been too late.

* * *

She knew she had only a few seconds to compose herself. Kenshin's eyes had been flitting between his lap and her face all evening. One second too long and she'd completely give herself away. Friends told her countless times that she had an expressive face, but how did Hiroyuki catch on to her so quickly? Had Kenshin said something before she'd returned home? She bit her lower lip, nearly drawing blood, as she tried to regain herself. She'd heard this all before, but not so out and direct and it left her scrambling.

"Ah, well, you see, it's not like that. Kenshin and Yahiko," she gestured toward to boy, a feeble attempt to deflect attention away from Kenshin. "They're both boarders here. I train Yahiko during the day while Kenshin works." No need to mention that Kenshin was primarily doing was housework, though Hiroyuki good and well knew she couldn't cook a pot of rice her save her life. After all, she'd learned her cooking skills from him. "We've all been together for so long, we're like a little family."

"Yeah and one day I'm going to be the best swordsman in Tokyo," Yahiko said, swinging his arms over the table holding an invisible bokken, nearly knocking over Kenshin's tea cup in the process. "You should see me, I'm practically as good as Kaoru now."

She narrowed her eyes at him, flashing them a bit. But, she could always count on Yahiko to defuse the tension, often without even knowing it. "Are not, Yahiko. You've still got a long way to go."

"Are you kidding me?! I'm the best student here. Heck, I'm the only student!"

Hiroyuki laughed at the volley of words between her and Yahiko. "You must be pretty good then, Yahiko! Kaoru a good sensei, you're luckily to have her."

"Yeah, she's alright I guess," Yahiko muttered, crossing his arms over his chest in embarrassment.

"Well I better get started with dinner, that I should." Kenshin's warm voice and placid smile cut through the noise. "Akiya-dono, will you be joining us for dinner?"

Shoot, she hadn't even thought of that. Trust Kenshin to be the one to play host. If Megumi could see her now, she'd admonish her up and down for being so uncouth. "Yes, please join us," she said, returning to look at Hiroyuki, trying regain any control of ladylikeness she had left in this house. "It's getting late, would you like to stay the night? Are you heading home tomorrow?"

Akiya's warm brown eyes crickled at the corners and he grinned foolishly at Kaoru, scratching the back of his head. "Ah gee, well if you're offering Kaoru-kun…" He looked exactly like Sano, Kaoru thought, every time he came asking for money to cover his tab at the Akebeko. The idiot probably planned his visit just in time for dinner so he wouldn't have to pay for an inn tonight.

"It's fine, you should stay the night, it's already dark out," she replied as Kenshin stood up, wiping his hands on his white hakama. She turned to Kenshin, noticing his rurouni smile from earlier was still on his face. He'd been acting strangely all evening and now appeared to have shut down almost completely, smacking that fabricated smile on his face. She hated when he put these walls up, he made it nearly impossible for her to guess his moods. Was he nervous having another swordsman stay at the house? Or just bored from hearing Akiya regale what were sure to be unseemly stories from her childhood. "Kenshin," she said, trying to not to breathe out his name too obviously, "would you mind preparing dinner for four?" At least she could pretend to be the woman of the house.

"Of course, Kaoru-dono," he replied, his detached smile growing even bigger as he gave a little bow and left out the shoji doorway for the kitchen. He was running away. She could feel it. What had happened while she'd be gone?

Akiya started talking to Yahiko about his training while Kaoru lost herself in thought. She heard Akiya laughing and asking questions with rapt attention as Yahiko recounted his battle against the infamous "Cannon-arm" from Enishi's group, allowing Kaoru a minute to think. Something had happened in the dynamic between her and Kenshin since Akiya had arrived. Kenshin was distant, almost cold, and so still it looked like he hadn't been breathing. She could have swore there had been amber flickering in his eyes at one point.

She let out a sigh. So much had changed since they'd come back home from the battle last year. It was small things, here and there, but she knew it meant something more, whether that was romantic or not remained the biggest mystery. They'd both grown so much, and Kaoru thought that'd meant they'd grown together. She'd seen his eyes linger on her during her morning solo practices while he did laundry out in the yard. Or his leg would press against hers as they sat down next to each other for meals.

One evening, unable to sleep, she'd venture outside to enjoy the warming fall evening. She'd found Kenshin leaning against one of the wooden porch beams, legs dangling off the engawa, staring out at the vivid hunter moon. She knew he had heard her, but he didn't turn to her in protest or greeting, so silently she'd crossed the wooden floor and quietly sat down beside him, wrapping her haori shawl tighter around her. They sat in comfortable silence, not say a word, but she could feel the energy rolling off him in gentle waves. Eventually, feeling completely content, she'd fallen asleep and had woken up the next morning back in her own futon. She hadn't been sure whether she'd dreamed the whole thing.

So two weeks later, she'd left her room again and found Kenshin in the same spot. And the next morning, she'd again self in her futon, blankets folder over her with her black braid tucked over one shoulder. From then on, once or twice a month, she'd sit with Kenshin on the porch in their own private little ritual. She'd sit a little closer each time, testing his boundaries, until one night he wrapped his arm around her low back. She'd tucked her bent legs to the side and rested her head on his shoulder, feeling his warmth seep into her. It was the most at peace she'd ever been.

And then he'd begun telling her stories. His voice was soft and deep, almost whispering to her. Some were from his childhood, growing up on a farm as the youngest of three brothers; others were about his marriage with Tomoe or stories from his wanderings. Some nights they didn't speak at all. These were stories not often told, perhaps ever, and she cherished each new one he offered her, collecting the bits of him inside of her.

As the year after the battle passed and the chilled spring nights bled into hot summer nights, they'd grown so close.

But tonight was just like when he'd first come to the dojo. Though he could control his features around strangers with that rurouni grin, after 3 years she knew him well enough now that something had affected him and made him unwilling to give away anything behind those cool eyes. She needed to figure it out, soon, before the carefully crafted intimacy around them crumbled away.

It took Kenshin kneeling beside her, placing bowls on wood table for her, to startle her back into the moment. His face turned to hers as he set her chopsticks down, and their eyes met, her azure meeting his dark violet.

He smiled softly at her just before their eyes broke contact, a tress of his auburn hair falling forward from where it had been tied back. As he turned to set Yahiko's bowls down, she felt the pressure of his hakama clad leg against hers. Electricity buzzed through her.


	5. Chapter 5: Dead End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaoru's friend confides in Kenshin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.  
A special thank you to those who read my work and encouraged me to continue: Celestine and secondbutton.

He rolled over to the other side of his futon for the fifth time. The crescent moon played patterns through the shoji onto the sheets. The heat from the day still lingered as he sought out the cool sections of the futon. Kenshin’s body was exhausted, but his mind wouldn’t settle, flipping through scenarios, replaying the evening over and over, analyzing each exchange.

He had used preparing dinner as an excuse to get out of that room. His relief flooded him as soon as he gotten to the kitchen as he leaned on the counter nearly gasping for air. He took a minute to compose himself and then began washing the food for the meal. He let the routine of cooking sweep over him, soothing his nerves.

Walking back into the dining room with full bowls, he found Kaoru staring absently out into the yard while Yahiko prattled on about his training with an attentive Akiya asking questions. Using her distraction as an excuse, he kneeled close to Kaoru, trying to regain some small connection with her, pressing his leg against her yellow kimono. She’d flinched in surprise and looked up at him wide-eyed. He’d nearly pulled back, ashamed of his brashness, until a hint of pink spread over the bridge of her nose onto her cheeks. He inwardly sighed at the small encouragement.

Dinner passed congenially. Akiya and Kauro swapped stories from their childhoon; the officer’s wife had been a friend of Tae and her twin sister Sae’s and was often around whenever the teenage Kaoru and Tae got together. 

Kaoru, more chipper and alert, teased Akiya for basically following the four girls around town. “It was really pathetic,” she giggled. 

While Akiya had been away, Tsuta’s family had moved them back into her grandparent’s property up in the mountains of Takayama. He’d returned from the Seinan War broken down and weary, only to find his childhood sweetheart was gone. He’d stayed with Kaoru for a few months until he’d finally gotten the courage to go after Tsuta. 

After they’d finished their food, Akiya entertained them stories of being a police officer in his mountain town near Hida. It turned out that most of the dangers in Takayama involved chasing bandits around and catching peeping toms at the local onsens. It took Yahiko yawning to remind Kaoru of the hour. She’d sent Yahiko off for his own room while Kenshin cleaned up. Akiya thanked Kenshin for the meal and Kaoru had shown him to his room, using the spare room next to Kenshin’s that Sano or Megumi often used whenever they’d stayed overnight.

And now Kenshin found himself awake, several hours later, no closer to sleep than when he’d first laid out his futon.

Akiya’s words came back to him._ “I presumed Kaoru had finally found her swordsman._”

Giving up on sleep, he finally sat up, grabbed his gi and sword, and slid the shoji open. He taken his first step onto the engawa when a shadow caught his eye, and he found Akiya, donned in a borrowed sleeping yukata, already sitting out.

“It seems neither one of us is having any luck sleeping tonight, that it doesn’t,” he said, measuring to see if the officer wanted to be left alone.  
Akiya, turned to him and chuckled softly into the warm night air. “Nope. Doesn’t help that that kid snores like a bear.” Kenshin couldn’t help his grin in return. Akiya gestured to the porch beside him, “Please, join me Himura-san.”

“Thank you,” Kenshin reciprocated, settling cross-legged on the wooden porch as he set his sakabato beside him.

A small, awkward stretch of silence spread out between the two men until Akiya huffed out a breath. Still staring out at the dojo grounds, Akiya finally broke the silence. “I have to admit Himura-san, I didn’t know what I’d find coming back here.”

“Oh?” Kenshin raised, intrigued.

“When word finally reached us of Gohei’s…involvement some years ago, I got worried I’d made a mistake leaving Kaoru by herself. Gohei had always been a problem but,” Akiya shrugged, “it made me realize that anything could have happened with Kaoru all alone. I should have known it wouldn’t take long before the wolves started circling this place.”

The officer looked sorrowfully out at the yard. Kenshin saw the man’s guilt and offered, “You’ll see Kaoru-dono isn’t alone, she’s got many friends here, that she does.”

Akiya’s frown twisted to the side. “Yeah, I can tell. I was glad to find you and Yahiko here. Kaoru never deserved to be alone. And when I left here, I knew that’s what I was doing.”

“Kaoru-dono is a strong woman, that she most certainly is.”

“No kidding,” he said, his frown finally lifting. “Kaoru-kun basically yelled at me the entire time I was here for not going after Tsuta. She kind of kicked my butt about it.”

“It must have been a hard decision,” Kenshin offered, both men still staring out into the dojo, taking in the familiar same under the summer moonlight. A small piece of him was soothed knowing Kaoru had tried to talk Akiya out of the marriage. 

Another bout of silence spread, until Akiya admitted, “I thought I was dishonoring her by not marrying her. That’s why I came back here after the war. It took a few months before Kaoru helped me see how nothing would be fixed if we got married.”

Of course Kaoru thought of Akiya first. She knew it meant being alone, but she’d offered her security so that her friend could follow his heart. Akiya looked contemplatively up at the open night sky. “Koshijori-sensei taught Kaoru and I together, practically raised us rivals of the school. We were always running around, beating each other up. Not exactly romantic. Neither one of us wanted it.” He shook his head slightly. “We wouldn’t have been happy.”

“Kaoru-dono never has trouble speaking her mind,” Kenshin said, following the officer’s gaze. Whatever little bit of his stomach that had been unsure at dinner now relaxed. “She always wants what’s best for others. She has a big heart.”

“Yeah, she does,” Akiya said, a cocky sideways grin slipping onto his face as his eye crinkled. He finally turned toward Kenshin, all seriousness, “But, no offense Himura-san, this isn’t exactly how I expected Kaoru to be living.”

“And how’s that, Akiya-dono? You may not have been able to see it, but Kaoru is quite happy. Was Akiya going to try to discourage Kaoru from letting him live her. It was her home, and she had invited him to stay. He knew she wouldn’t be swayed, but perhaps Akiya’s opinion held some weight with her.

“Yeah that much is obvious. She looks really happy.” Kenshin turned to face the officer, schooling his face into neutrality. Akiya’s eyes were searching him, as if looking to find what was lacking. Kenshin stilled, refusing the shift under whatever test Akiya was setting up. “She grew up a lot more than I was remembered. I guess I never expected her to be raising a teenager with a guy who she wasn’t even married to.”

Kenshin’s mind reeled. Kami, well that was one way to see it.

Dammit, he was trying not to gape like a fish, but literally nothing was coming to mind. He’d heard such things before when he and Kaoru went to the market together. The occasional old woman would make a snide comment, but he’d always taken it as just gossip. The chatter of the older townswomen centered around the fact that Kaoru lived with two men without her father, that nothing about Kenshin or Yahiko in particular struck them. But from an outsider’s perspective, this must look terrible. Kaoru…lived alone, with a man she wasn’t married to and also with a young boy whom she taught, fed, clothed, and housed. Akiya… wasn’t wrong. 

Akiya smiled lightly and spared him, “You seem to get along well. Kaoru, well, she’s not the kind of girl for everyone.” He turned back toward the moon thoughtful. Kenshin was glad for the reprieve. “I honestly thought I’d have to come here and defend the dojo from whatever swordsman had tried to take it or the Kamiya Kasshin from her. But I see now that Kaoru is still teaching, running this place. And found someone to take care of her.” He let out a small sigh. “That’s all Koshijiro-san would have wanted.”

Kenshin stared out at the moon, relaxing his grip that had instinctively taken hold of his sowrd on the planks beside him. So this is whole evening had been a test. To see if Kenshin was worthy. To see if Kaoru was being taken advantage of. Maybe even to relieve some guilt Akiya carried by not fulfilling the betrothal plans. 

Kenshin settled a bit, finding some compassion for the man. “It’s really Kaoru who takes care of us. All of us here, it’s thanks to her kindness, that it is.” Kenshin’s heart softened at the thought. Yes, it was her warmth and passion that had first drawn him in from the moment he’d met her. She accepted a wanderer, an orphan, a street fighter, and a reformed drugmaker into her home without question. She’d taken care of all them, he supposed, even raising Yahiko.

Akiya stirred, crouching up from his seated position on the edge of the engawa. “But she’s 20 now.” He turned to face Kenshin once more, a bright smile on his face crinkling his brown eyes once more. “You’ll do well to remember that things cannot stay this way for a young woman of her age.” The threat was laced with false cheerfulness. Kenshin’s gut clenched. For someone here such a short time, the officer seemed to see into Kaoru, and Kenshin’s, life with perfect clarity. “Well, goodnight Himura-san,” he bid, standing up fully and bowing slightly as if he’s not just delivered a cheap shot.

“Yes, I hope you get some rest,” he offered, trying to smile genially. Akiya just nodded, slipping into his room as the shoji slid shut.  
Kenshin waited until the rustling had quieted, and then huffed out a breath, letting his shoulder sink. This entire day had been a disaster. But perhaps he should have seen it as a reminder. He was going too slow. He knew this. 

He knew what a life without Kaoru would feel like. He remembered the day he’d sunk down onto his knees on her dojo floor and felt his world rip in two. He’d never had a home, and she had made one for him. He’d never had friends and now had so many thanks to her goodness. She’d held his hand twice now and welcomed him home. 

The moonlight faded as a cloud passed over, blocking the light that fell across the small garden he built almost three summers ago. He thought he’d been going slow on her behalf. He told himself after he’d finally healed from fighting Enishi that he would let her choose, but if she chose him, she had to know everything. So gradually, night after night, he’d confessed his story, fearful that one story might be the tipping point. But each time, she’d relax when they’d talked, her closeness comforting him. On the mornings after, her eyes always seemed brighter, like she shared a secret.

But perhaps he put off asking her what she felt for him because he didn’t want to know the answer. Moonlight flooded the ground again, creating a beam on the white stucco of the dojo wall. He stood, grabbing his sword, and felt the roughness of the cord that wrapped around it’s smoothed leather-banded hilt. He took once last glance across the courtyard, letting its familiar paths and walls wash over him. He’d never leave her, but maybe she would tell him it was too much. After all, who could love someone so stained.


	6. Chapter 6: The Path Ahead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenshin confronts Kaoru.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin and its characters belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki. I own nothing.
> 
> Sorry for the delay, I wrote this chapter first but filling in the gaps has proven difficult. This is my first time writing, please be kind. I tried to stick to the timeline as much as possible but varied when necessary.

Hiroyuki-san had left right after breakfast, citing the long journey home as the reason for his short visit. Yahiko begged him to stay another day so he could give the boy a lesson, but the officer had merely clapped him on the back heartily and reminded him that Kaoru was his sensei. She’d been sad to see him go; it was like saying goodbye to her brother. She wondered if this is what it would feel like if Sano ever decided he needed a new adventure. People were always leaving. But they’d said their farewells at the dojo gate, and Akiya had invited them all to come visit his growing family in Takayama. She reminded him to write but knew he wouldn’t. As he turned to go, he winked at Kenshin amiably, and Kenshin just smiled that fake mask of a rurouni smile back and wished him safe travels.

The rest of the day had passed routinely. Predicting the heat would pick up in the late afternoon again, Kaoru sent Yahiko to change and then to meet her in the sparing hall for practice. She watched Kenshin leave to resume his daily tasks, no hint of the hot and cold mood he’d given her last night at dinner. He’d been his pleasant self all morning, staying a polite distance from her all throughout breakfast and smiling blankly while she’d ask Hiroyuki-san about his son and Tsuta. He’d been quiet and reserved but that was hardly unusual. His mild teasing and silliness only ever showed around their little family and the group at the Aoi-ya.

After practice, she’d tried to start conversation with him, asking him if he needed help bring things home from the market. He’d dismissed her courteously. “Thank you Kaoru-dono, but I think I can manage.”

And so he’d left while Yahiko picked up a shift at the Akebeko, leaving her all alone. She wandered the halls listlessly, picking things up absentmindedly only to put then right back down again. Bored and in need of something to distract herself from the slowly growing pit in her stomach, she’d decided to change and see if one of the neighboring dojos needed help teaching. As she closed the gate, she speculated moodily if Kenshin would even notice she’d gone.

Practicing had provided some relief, but it all came flooding back on her walk home. Seeing Akiya again and hearing about his family had left her feeling dampened. She’d live with Kenshin for nearly 3 years and still didn’t know how he truly felt. After the Enishi battle, he’d called the dojo home, and Kaoru believed he would stay. But was he staying with her? Or had the dojo just become the closest thing to a family he’d had? 

She knew her heart was set. It had been from the moment he’d picked her up and run with her in his arms, deflecting Gohei Hiruma’s blow in the middle of the streets of Tokyo. He’d entranced her with his quiet skill and unflinching kindness. And then during the fight with Jin-e, he’d defended her so fiercely, his amethyst eyes melting with amber, that while she’d been terrified for him, another darker part of her reveled in his power and wondered what color his eyes would be in the throes of passion. She’d be lying to herself if she said those eyes hadn’t haunted her dreams, staring at her from above through the dark, his auburn hair loose around his bare shoulders.

They’d grown closer, that much she knew, but was it closer than two good friends? He’d confided in her, letting her into his memories, but was he doing that because he couldn’t bear the burden alone anymore? But then on the journey back home from the island, he’d held her hand as Megumi worked to clean his wounds and begun applying the stitches. He’d fallen in and out of consciousness, and she’d sat there, holding onto the only thing he would allow her, watching his blood once again leak out of him, taking more from him with each drop. One time she’d left his cabin to get food and returned to find him awake. His eyes had gone wide and wild and he’d nearly fallen to the ground trying to get out of his cot. It had taken her soothing, stroking he back of his hand, for him to finally let go of her and relax back into a medicated sleep. Her palms had been covered in red after. When they’d returned home, she kept waiting and waiting for something to change, for Kenshin to make some grand statement to her.  
But it never came and the fleeting hopes she’d given herself had drifting out of her, leaving her with an aching that never quite lifted. 

These thoughts, which had plagued her for months, only intensified after Akiya’s visit. She couldn’t shake the thought that maybe Kenshin stayed because he felt the same care for her that Akiya did.

Kenshin greeted her with his usual, “Okaerinasai,” as she swung the gate’s heavy iron lock shut. His long red hair was pulled back in its usual low ponytail.

He informed her Yahiko was staying late at the Akebeko and it would just be the two of them for dinner. She’d nodded to him, summoning a knockoff of one of his rurouni smile back, and left down the hall to change for dinner. She’d fallen quiet through dinner. Her mind still twisted and turned in turmoil. Two summers ago, she would have been giddy at the opportunity for a dinner alone with Kenshin but she honestly didn’t know what to say to him anymore. Kenshin seemed to read her mood and let her silently brood, their chopsticks clicking against their ceramic bowls as the only sound. After they’d finished, she’d stood to leave, ready for a bath and a quiet evening to herself, but Kenshin’s voice stopped her.

“Kaoru-dono?” He asked hesitantly, the two bowls in hand as he stood staring after her. Was it just her, or was there a look of longing in his eyes? He voice was low, soft, and very male, causing the electric thrumming inside of her to start again. “If you don’t mind, sessha would like to go for a walk this evening. Would you join me?”

Her heart picked up and she wondered if he could hear how fast it was beating. “Of course, Kenshin,” she returned, trying to keep her cool. “Let me just take a bath first, and then I’ll meet you.” Whatever he had planned, she at least wanted to clean her hair. He simply nodded at her and turned back to the table to collect their chopsticks and mugs. She forced herself into steady and measured steps toward her room as her mind raced.

* * *

The sun was just falling over the city skyline, bathing the white plaster walls in gentle hues of amber and violet. The heat from the week had finally broken, leaving the pleasant summer evening with a soft breeze. She was clad in her cotton lilac yukata after her bath, letting her hair dry out in the summer night. Summer bugs had begun their nighttime songs as she crossed the yard to the dojo, combing through her long black hair with her fingers, lost in her own thoughts.

All afternoon he’d tried to stop himself from pacing back and forth. At breakfast, he’d tried to avoid eye contact with her. Looking at her caused an ache in him, and he’d suddenly become so acutely aware of her, every small movement or flutter of her long lashes against her cheek or small giggle that escaped her soft lips. He knew it had to be now, or he’d talk himself out of it again and another Officer Akiya would come again looking for more than just to catch up with her.

He’d cornered Yahiko while she’d cleaned the spare room bedroom. Kenshin had to suggest Yahiko take an extra shift at the Akebeko enough times that in Kenshin’s already nervous state, he’d nearly snapped at the boy. Subtly was not Yahiko’s strength. Yahiko’s eyes widened as he stammered out, “Yeah, sure Kenshin, I can go see Tsubame.”

At best, he and Kaoru wouldn’t have an audience if he trudged home in defeat. At worst, there wouldn’t be anyone else to mock him if Kaoru laughed at him. 

No, she would never laugh. She’d kindly and graciously tell him that she could never accept him, but that’d he was welcome to stay at the dojo as her friend. As if he could ever leave her. He wasn’t sure which was worse, the thought of her laughing or pitying him.

He used the market as an excuse. If he was honest, it was to avoid her. His body was unused to the anxious energy he now felt coursing its way through his veins and he’d had no idea how to release it. Chores only kept his hands busy while his mind wandered. His eyes had caught the sight of her demonstrating a particularly difficult kata to Yahiko. It had been mesmerizing and he’d nearly dropped the sudsy cloth that he was supposed to be washing. And when she’d returned home, looking luscious in her hakama and gi, it had taken all of his restraint not to reach out to her, to touch her. He felt his body yearning for the small bit of contact. Because for him, one taste of her and he wouldn’t be able to go back. Or was he too far gone already?

So, now he’d been waiting by the gate for her. Unsure if he wanted to risk breaking her thoughts, he hesitated before calling out to her gently. “Kaoru-dono, would you still like to go on that walk with me?”

They strolled side by side, Kaoru trailing slightly behind him and his forearm sometimes caught the brush of her yukata sleeve. He was trying not to breathe too deeply as Kaoru’s faint jasmine perfume beckoned to him. The evening had turned mild as the sun sank below the horizon, leaving a faint soft blue glow hanging in the air. As they passed along the riverside path, the first of the summer fireflies winked at them. 

It had been about 5 minutes since they’d left the dojo, and they’d both kept quiet, letting the hum of the cicadas and the lazily passing gurgle of water fill the air. He thought perhaps Kaoru sensed what was coming.

His ears picked up Kaoru’s slowed shuffling, the sound of wood against packet dirt slackening as Kaoru paused behind him. “Kaoru-dono?” he asked as he turned, and then his voice caught in his throat as his heart leapt. 

She was turned towards the water with her head tilted up at the night sky with her eyes closed and her hair tucked over one shoulder. A gentle smile hung on her lips as she clutched her delicate but strong hands together above her heart. When she spoke, it was almost a whisper. “Ah, I remember this, Kenshin.”

He looked around. In his haste, he’d nearly passed the spot without notice. His chest weighed heavy and he could almost hear her quiet sobs again lingering like a phantom of that night. The first and only time he would ever say goodbye.

He crossed to her, something deep within his soul needing to close the distant. He came up beside her as her eyes flickered open and they both looked out over the stream, unable to face eachother as they both remembered the echoes of that night. So much had changed since then/  
Kenshin’s heart thudded in his chest as he spoke. He attempted to keep his voice steady as his hand instinctually reached for the sakabota hilt, hoping its familiarity under his fingers would slow his heart.

“Before Enishi’s Jinchuu, Kaoru-dono asked sessha to stay. And this one told you the dojo was the first place he’d called home.” His eyes flitted to her face furtively and out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her brow furrow. Perhaps this was not the best place for this conversation, but he’d already started. 

“Jinchuu helped me move beyond on my past and learn how to move forward helping others.” He inhaled; this was it. “Kaoru, I still feel the same as when we returned from Kyoto. I want to stay at the dojo with you. Always.”

He heard her release a small gasp beside him. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught her azure eyes widen and the hands she had folder across her chest now trembled.

He breathed out. His heart felt heavy in his throat. His body felt too small and too big all at once. He’d never been nervous before, not like this. This wasn’t the quiet anxiety that gnawed at him before a battle, that sharpened his mind and slowed his breathing. He tried to rein in his panic. “I will try my best to keep you and the others safe. But a life with me will mean a constant target on your back.” He looked down, unable to face her. His hands were shaking again and he fisted them tighter at his side. 

“Think Kaoru, so much trouble has come to your dojo since I began living here.” Her lithe, limp body run through with a long sword, dull-eyed and pinned against a broken pine wall flashed through his thoughts. 

No. He had to face this, to make sure she knew what this would mean. He’d told her everything, over the course of long evenings together over the past year, because he had to be sure when this moment came, she’d know every secret, every dark bit, and would know that it was too much. No one could accept all of it. “People will always come looking for Battousai. There may always be danger living with me. I’ll give you time to think about this, Kaoru-dono.” 

He turned, empty handed, feeling the rawness on his skin, and had just taken a step back toward home when she called out to him.

“Kenshin no baka!” Kaoru cried, her voice ringing out clear like silver bells in the quiet night. The summer air shifted.

“Oro?!”

He turned and found ocean blue eyes weighting him down, pinning him to the ground. Kaoru’s voice was clear and steady as she spoke, no hint of tears, only that fiery passion emanating from her.

“Kenshin, don’t take me so lightly, I’m not a child. Do you don’t think I know all of this? When you first came to stay with me, I told you a didn’t care about your past. I said I wasn’t asking Battousai the manslayer to stay, but the wanderer.

She released her hands where they’d been balled up in fists at her side, taking a small step toward him as her bright eyed searched his. He could feel her light in them, that glow that always drew him in closer, wanted to feel soak up her brightness.

“I lied to you, Kenshin. I do care about your past. It’s all that matters to me.” She took an even smaller step forward, her wooden geta shuffling against the packed dirt path. He bared down, bracing against the impact of her blow that was readying to take him. 

Her voice softened, “You are Battousai. Gohei didn’t kill me and take my dojo because you are Battousai. Megumi-san is a doctor because you are Battousai. Aoshi lives peacefully with Misao-chan because you are Battousai. Japan is safe and free because of you. It’s your passion that drives you, your spirit. Don’t you see? None of these things could have happened if you weren’t him.” He watched her eyes finally well up and found that he had been walking toward her too. They were only an arm’s distance apart now.

“But you’re also the rurouni. You listen to people’s needs and know how to take care of others. Think of where Yahiko would be if he hadn’t had your compassion to find him and guide him. You helped Sano because you knew what it was like to be lost too.” A lone tear slipped from her eyes, but she didn’t move to brush it away. Instead, she shuddered slightly, shaking out her spine. Everything about her was magnetic. Trying to look away from her now would have felt like drowning. He needed her to breathe.

She reached her hand out gingerly as she stepped even closer. Her hair fluttered around her face in the breeze. Her fingertips hesitated, then she gently rested them against his left cheek in the smallest hint of contact. He knew she could feel the creases of his scar running under that soft touch, and he wanted to hide his face from her, this ugly mark abhorrent under her clean fingers, but she’d grounded him to the spot with just that caress.  
“You are all of these things because you are Himura Kenshin. Without those pieces, you wouldn’t be the man who saved me that day. So yes, I’ve thought about it, and I know my answer.” She smiled tenderly, and he could count each one of the long dark lashes framing those captivating cerulean eyes as she looked down, her lovely lips pulled together, and another tear slowly slipped out. “And I—” she stumbled and drew her face up to his once more. His heart thudded in his chest, beating wildly, and he completely lost himself to her. “And I love you, whether you are Battousai or the rurouni, because to me, they’re just different pieces of you, Kenshin.”

His mind gutted out. He felt like she’s stripped him bare, leaving him in nothing but his skin. How had she seen him so clearly? That she could even consider caring for the part of himself he’d tried so hard to wash away. His hand reached up to her instinctively as he flattened her palm onto his cheek. He craved her touch, needing to feel her against him to know this was real. 

“I love you,” she whispered once more as if she saw into his thoughts completely.

She said she loved him, that she wasn’t afraid of the man he’d been. Perhaps it was because her brightness lit up even the darkest parts of him. He let his head drop so his red bangs blocked his face, unable to face her anymore, completely overwhelmed in the joy and power in her words, and closed his eyes. She rested her forehead against his, their heads bowed together, and he ran his hand over hers still resting on his cheek. He could feel a split over one of her knuckles, could feel the smoothness of the back of her hand and the smallness of her fingers. His other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her in and her hand instinctively reached for his chest, fisting the fabric of his gi. A breeze swept her hair up again, settling it in a curtain around their faces and he took in the jasmine and warmth that always followed in her wake. Slowly, so she knew exactly what he intended, he tilted his chin forward and met her lips with his.


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kenshin and Kaoru greet their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who gave me encouragement to keep writing! Your kind words have meant alot and given me so much motivation. Chapter 6 was the hardest to write and I have a feeling I'm going to be re-editing and updating this as time goes on. Enjoy.

**Epilogue**

A slow drip crawled its way down her forearm, crossing her knuckle, and fell, leaving a splat of darkness on the dry dirt below. She was staring out listlessly at the courtyard, watching billowy white clouds roll by as the spring wind picked up. It was getting dark to the west; they were probably in for an evening storm soon.

Kaoru was laying on edge of the wooden porch of her dojo’s porch, one leg bent to steady her while the other dangled over the edge, making slow and lazy circles. One arm was tugged just below her chest, resting atop her narrow obi, and the other hung over the edge of the porch. The sweet liquid from her watermelon slice hadn’t quite dried yet and was still dribbling off her arm in sticky pink tracks. She’d been craving a giant watermelon all afternoon and had completely gorged herself. 

Her back dug into the wood of the engawa and she tried readjusting on the cushion propped underneath her, careful not to shift too much. She pulled her other leg up to meet the porch, feeling the smoothed wood grain under her toes. As she stretched both legs out, her knees locking slightly, she raised her head up marginally. Nope. She couldn’t see the tips of her toes over her yukata-clad stomach. Her puffy ankles tensed and she braced her elbows against the planks, balancing herself as she raised her low back off the cushion again. She arched her back what little she could in another attempt to find a comfortable spot and finally settled back down.

Her head rested in his lap, the rough and worn fabric of his hakama leaving a red patch on her cheek where’d she’d lolled it atop his thigh for the past half an hour. She looked up to see if she’d disturbed her companion, and a small smile spread through her. Kenshin was completely out. At some point, he’d given up and his head now leaned against the beam next to him. The muscles of his face were relaxed and his mouth was slightly parted as his breath ruffled the shorn chin-length auburn hair obscuring his face. His hand rested in her hair, which was spread out behind her in an inky black cascade across his lap.

A tumbling motion jolted her out of her reverie. She looked down just in time to see a bulge shift to her side. 

She reached behind her, grabbing Kenshin’s hand from its entanglement, and shuffle forward further across his lap. His violet eyes blinked opened just as she placed his hand on the side of her stomach. A few second later, the small foot reappeared under his palm, her hand covering his. He looked up at the sky and closed his eyes as a perfectly serene smile lit his face.


End file.
